The book called life

Life is a book. A book that you write and the world reads. Every page is different and has a new story to it. Just the handwriting can predict the feelings you have shared in those pages.

Some pages are scribbled in a hurry because we are so excited about the event that occurred.

On some pages we write with colorful pens because life feels like a rainbow.

Some are written in a beautiful and legible handwriting because the moment is special to us and we want everyone to know about its importance in our lives.

Some pages have ink blots, from the tears that we cry while writing about the difficult days.

Some pages have the scent of a perfume. It was like walking in a fragrant garden. Maybe someone will find an old rose in between them too.

Some pages are scratched out because we are confused what really happened and how exactly we should feel.

Somewhere there might be a feather wishing to be lucky, waiting for a miracle.

Some pages are left blank because we are so broken that we can’t find words to describe our feelings.

And then, some pages are torn. The worst days of our lives. The days we wish never occurred. The days we wish to erase from our lives, the ones we wish to forget.

In a fake world

So I did an experiment personally to find out whether I am just having a negative thinking or does the world is really after fakeness, ignoring the reality and real beauty of things.

Every one of us has a habit of putting up the best pictures on social media and then many of us receive friend requests and messages from unknown people. Messages that have compliments, or requests for friendships, or relationships, or sometimes even marriage. I have received many such requests and messages as well. I must say people use social media pretty well these days.

So the experiment was that I put up a profile picture of me without makeup. A totally natural look. A picture I had taken right after coming out of a spa after a cleansing treatment, so my face was extra clean. Honestly I love that picture a lot as my skin is glowing and I look totally fresh but well, I have no makeup in it. Not even a single trace of makeup, no fakeness, at all. The picture was up for about three weeks and I didn’t receive a single request or message during that tenure.

This confirmed my thought as to how attracted people are towards fakeness. A person is considered beautiful and good only when he/she is dressed up well and having a perfect appearance. People fancy celebrities so much; people who are always having perfect makeup, and once they see a picture of anyone without makeup the whole perception changes. The comments that are:

“Oh she is so amazing!”

“Oh look how pretty she is!”

“Wow! He is so hot!”

suddenly get changed based on one picture without makeup. The comments that you hear then are:

“Eww, she is so ugly! How much makeup does she apply to look pretty?”

“Eww, look at her dark complexion!”

“Eww, look how bad her eyebrows are!”

Let’s take another example. Sometimes, we don’t wish to eat a specific food at home but when at a restaurant we would love to eat the same thing because it ‘looks’ better. The garnishing suddenly makes the same food seem tempting to our taste buds.

Let’s talk about words now. We get attracted to a person who acts nice to us, pushing unwanted compliments our way, acting sweet to us. On the other hand we run away from a person who would be brutally honest to us. Someone who would honestly say if a dress is not looking good on us, if a hairstyle doesn’t suit us.

Nothing really seems to be real in this world now. Where image filters are boosting, the reality of life is being lost. People don’t wish to see the real, don’t wish to hear the truth and hence don’t wish to be real as well.

Habits

Good or bad, we all have some habits. Some are developed intentionally while other we just adopt with time or by the company we have. Smoking, drinking, shopping, caring, loving, responsibility, punctuality arguing etc. are all habits.

No matter wherever we are or who is a part of our friends circle, we should always make sure we adopt the good habits and not the bad ones. But sometimes, somehow we take up habits that seem to bring happiness to us but it’s actually the opposite. We get so used to it that when we don’t have it we are unable to control ourselves. It’s like drugs for us, we form an addiction to it.

Sometimes, the addiction is a person. A friend, a companion, or a soul mate. We develop the habit of talking to that person, sharing life events, sharing happiness, sadness, smiles, laughter, tears and what not. We get into the habit of so much time with that person. Having tea, gossiping, shopping, ice-creams, dining out, and watching movies. Those heart to heart conversations late at night are probably the best moments spent with that person.

Then one day, life takes a turn. That person is no longer there. Alive, but out of your reach. Far, far away. That is the time when you realize how badly addicted you have become to that person and his/her presence. Every moment seems lifeless. You wish to talk to that person, share life details, how your day was, what made you smile, what made you angry; but that person is not there to listen.

After a hardship I learnt this lesson, never get addicted to a person because at times, when you need that person the most he is not there. Never make a habit to talk to anyone regularly, spend time with him that one day when he leaves, you feel like you have lost a very important part of your life. An experience that makes you feel incomplete; sometimes for the rest of your life.

About lies!

It’s been about three years since I read the book ‘Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult’. I didn’t find the book to be really amazing, and I don’t remember most of the story but this one quotation on the book cover remains with me forever.

I have always been a person who discourages lies and prefers to be told the truth, no matter how hurtful it is. Why should one lie in the first place? Isn’t saying the truth much easier, one doesn’t have to remember what he has said. When lieing, the person has to remember what he said, if forgotten, the truth will reveal.

Coming back to the quotation, why does it say about believing in the lie? It’s actually about believing in the person. Sometimes we trust someone to such a level that we believe whatever he/she must be saying is the truth. We refuse to believe their lies. That is how they cheat, that is where treachery takes birth.

I am thankful to my creator for blessing me with the ability to see beyond the lies. I know people so closely in my life that when they lie, I know it. I pretend to believe them because I have no proof at the time but the truth unfolds with time. Be it a week, a month, or a year, the truth is never hidden from me. I never doubt a person right away for the lies, maybe he/she was scared to hurt me and my happiness matters a lot to them. I always confront the person, some knowing my temper confess the truth while some try to cover their lies further.

When someone becomes a close friend or an important part of my life, I always warn the person. I warn him/her not to lie to me because I will find out. The person never believes that I have such a strong connection with my creator that he unveils the truth to me, and still tries to fool me. The result is that they lose an honest person from their life. I have always been a caring and loving person but once I find out a person is lieing, how can I ever trust again? And when there is no trust, there is no care and no love at all.

The most precious friends!

Summer 1997, my father introduced me to some friends. He knew I was a restless soul, wanting to talk, listen, learn, indulge in activities and never wanting to feel bored. Hence he thought these friends will the best for me. He knew I needed these friends for life, in every high and low moment of my life they will be there for me. They will guide me, they will make me laugh, they will make me cry, and they will support me whenever I feel down. They never laughed on my problems, they never made fun when I cry, and they were always present to give me a warm hug.

Parents often scold us when we spend too much money on friends but my father never said a word and willingly let me spend on these friends. He knew these are the loyal ones for life. He also asked me introduce all of my other friends to them, and I still do the same. Whenever I feel someone needs guidance, or a good laugh I introduce that person to one of these friends. These friends are great to have a coffee with, or a late night chit chat. Just a while with them and all the stress goes away.

These precious friends are none other than books.

Screaming inside

She is sitting in her office, concentrating on her work. She has lots of dreams, her spirits are high and she wants to conquer the world. She wants to be the best at everything she does. She wants to be applauded in front of the whole front. She wants to be appreciated. She loves being a happy and brining to smile to everyone’s faces. If she sees anyone tensed in the office, she asks with concern. If she finds it possible, she offers help with work.

The day suddenly changes for her. She feels trapped. She is unable to find an escape. Someone is banging a hammer hard on her head, another person is strangling her. She is losing her breath, palpitating. Her hands are shivering, she is sweating. She wants to scream out for help but she can’t find her voice. Her head in thumping with pain, her chest feels like a large piece of brick is placed over it. She wants to run away but she can’t move. She feels no strength in her body. She feels hopeless. She feels like a failure. She doesn’t want this but she can’t help it.

She finds the energy to get up and run to the toilet. There, in a closed space, with no one to see, and no one to hear, she cries her heart out. That’s what anxiety did to her. That’s what anxiety does to her, every time!

The few days of smile you gave me!

Dear lost friend,

You came into my life uninformed and gave me a few days of smile. I cannot thank you enough for it. Be it your annoying late night calls or ringing me up early in the morning on a weekend, I loved every bit of it. Why? Because it kept me smiling throughout the day. A little tired because of less sleep, but nevertheless, I was happy.

Most of our conversation was about you teasing me, but it never hurt me in any way. I found you to be a very different person; you never flirted and yet kept me smiling. I thought I found a friend to count on. Someone I could ask to take me out for ice cream if I was upset. Someone I could call and cry to during my worst days, because I knew that you would just tease me in your own style and make me laugh again.

It was a blissful week, and then you disappeared from my life. I could never figure out what went wrong. Did you find out something bad about me? Did I hurt you in any way? Was I not the kind of person you expected me to be? Have you been busy? Is something going on in your life? Lots of questions on my mind but no answers. I wanted to ask you what happened, why are you gone, but couldn’t find the courage to. Maybe I just accepted your decision of leaving. Maybe I am just used to it, people coming and leaving. But it just leaves a question everytime, where did I go wrong?

Beauty and the Beast: Lessons from a Fairy tale

A story we all have heard since childhood, and believed it to be a perfect love story, a perfect fairytale with a happy ending. But this fairytale gives us many lessons apart from a happy ending. It teaches many realities of the bitter world we live in. It’s not always just the happy ending to focus on, it’s about how people perceive each other and this world according to their knowledge or negligence.

Following is a list of a few points to ponder upon:

1)      Some people are just interested in being with a person for their physical appearance. In this story, Gaston was only interested to marry Belle was because of her beauty. He had no value for the knowledge she possessed or how wise she was.

Similarly, three girls have been shown to be crazy for Gaston for his good looks, and they don’t even care how rudely he behaves with them. They just desire him for his good looks.

2)      Being selfish and self-centered is the worst a person can be. Gaston possessed these traits and what happened in the end? He was alone, his only friend left him because Gaston only cared about himself and what he wanted. He never cared that he might ruin someone’s happiness or hurt someone while chasing his desires.
Also, the prince had similar characteristics because of which he was punished and had to live as a beast for many years of his life.

3)      Even the wildest beast can be calm when treated with love and compassion. The Beast scared off everyone but Belle being courageous, stood strong and was able to turn the wild beast into a friendly, loving, playful charmer even while he still looked like a beast.

4)      When you truly love someone, keep your faith and let them go. If you have planted a seed of your love in their heart, they will come back to you.

5)      Never consider any gift as cheap or disgraceful. It can be the only thing someone can afford, or something one is giving out of pure love. The prince being his arrogant self, rejected the rose given to him which resulted in him being cursed.

6)      Whatever you do affects your close ones too, whether good or bad. Belle’s father tried stealing a rose, ultimately Belle ended up in a trap. The prince was the wrongdoer yet all those who were close to him had to suffer when he was cursed. The clock, the candle stand, the piano etc. had a strong bond with him.

7)      A girl can fall in love even with a Beast, as long as he loves her and is there to protect her in all circumstances. She doesn’t care about him being a beast, or being bad to anyone as long his heart is soft for her and cares for her.

8)      Love conquers all. The prince’s curse could have been reversed in any way but it was only love that made it possible. Why? Because anything done out of love can never go wrong. It was only love that could change the prince inside out.

When the night haunts!

Its 2 a.m, she is fighting the urge to end her life. She is looking for an escape; from her problems, from her pain, from her depression. She is thinking of options; pills, knife, bleach; lots of options to end her life but nothing to save her. She is crying her heart out, she is fighting herself. She keeps a pillow to her face and screams so no one in the house finds out her pain. But why is she doing this? Why does she feel the need to end her life?

She falls weak when she is tired of fighting. She has been fighting since years, to let the world know who she is and what she wants from life. She just wants to be trusted and someone to trust on, someone to count on. She has lots of questions she can’t find answers to. She has so many things to talk about but she is out of words. Maybe she is scared. Scared that no one wants to listen to her. Scared that no one will understand her. Scared that no one wants to be there for her. Scared that nobody really cares about her existence. Not friends, not family, no one. But why is she so scared?

She is scarred, emotionally. When that fifteen year old girl lost her father and left the country she was born and brought up in, her life tilted upside down. She had to face an abusive brother who ridiculed her for being fat, and a mother who would never stop him. Family is what we count on but when one hears harsh and abusive words from their siblings, its leaves a scar for life. No matter if the situations improve, the relations become stronger but those words remain forever.

She made friends, some of them even very close. Then why doesn’t she have anyone to talk to? Why doesn’t she have anyone to call at this hour of the night? Why can’t she trust anyone? Because she has been lied to. The friends she considered so dear have not considered her equally important. They lie to her, they cheat her, they even ruin her happiness when they find out someone is trying to make her smile.

A teacher is someone who lights a student’s life towards success and wisdom but what to do when a teacher turns out to be a ‘devil in disguise’. She trusted a teacher to be an ideal for her. She consulted him for guidance in every step, looked up to him in every situation. What did he do? Put her in a situation where she could have been sexually abused. She considered him to be a father figure. He pretended to protect her in all circumstances but who knew he would put her in such a situation. She learnt a great lesson that day; never idealize anyone, you will shatter when the truth reveals.

She wants to feel the sense of belonging. She wants someone to be there for her, to handle her in her worst and to celebrate with her when she finds those little moments of happiness. She wants someone to hug her tight when she is crying, then buy her French fries to cheer her up. She wants someone who would motivate her for what she does; her education, her independence, her helpful nature; not someone who would make her feel inferior by saying ‘oh you drive? I am sure you are pretty bad it’. She wants someone to love her soul and not her body. But she can’t find anyone, it’s too difficult for her. Why is that so?

After all the things she has gone through she finds it hard to trust anyone, and when she can’t trust anyone how can she love? She cared, she loved, she trusted; and then people made her realize that she can’t be loved, she can only be lusted. She has an attractive personality and many men approach her but neither has the intention to marry her. She just keeps thinking what those other girls do that a guy is convinced to get married. Maybe it will take her another life to learn the trick about persuading a guy for marriage and then maybe she will find someone who would love her.

A girl can conquer the world when her parents support her but the day she lost her father she lost all the support too. She wants to talk and share so much but she can’t because she knows her mother will not understand. She knows being a single parent has not been easy for her mother but all she needs is her trust. To trust her and let her fly, not to cut down her wings and cage her in the house when she is already fighting to survive. She doesn’t want that anger when she returns home a little late after work because she was out with her friends for a while. She wants a welcome hug, a feeling of concern and relaxation a mother feels when her child gets home safe. But when she sees those furious eyes, she wishes she had died before returning home. She wants her mother to understand that once in a while, it’s good to let her go and enjoy by herself. She wants to travel and explore the world, experience new things, learn the good and bad by herself. She has to live a dutiful life once she gets married, she just wants to live her happiness now. She doesn’t show her weakness because she has to be the strength of the family, the one who keeps everyone happy and smiling. She is shattered inside yet she smiles on the outside.

Maybe it’s too little to say why she landed in a depressed life. Or maybe she is too tired to write anymore, or maybe she can’t find anymore words to explain the pain she is going through. Maybe she is just scared if she tells the complete truth she will ruin her life herself. Maybe she is just scared of herself because she doesn’t know if she will be able to survive the night or not.

Why the tears?

At some point of life, every one of us has cried.  Many of us are very emotional and we cry a lot, others are stronger and have a better control over their tears. People who care about us and love us get concerned over why we cry but we are never able to give them the right answer. Often they make assumptions and then explain to us that whatever is happening is for the best and we should just accept it.

Have we ever asked ourselves why are we really crying? The answer is very simple. We cry when a situation is not according to our will.

As a child, we used to cry when we didn’t want to go to school but were forced to. We didn’t want our favorite toy to break but it happened which made us cry. We wanted to eat our favorite snack but we needed a healthier meal. We wanted to play but were forced to study. As a kid we didn’t understand the better but our parents did and hence we were forced to do something we didn’t want to. The result; crying.

Moving towards maturity, we still cry at many times. The reason is still the same but now we can’t control it anymore, in most of the situations. We failed in an exam; we didn’t want to, we were working hard, but somehow not hard enough to clear the exam. We cry, because we are scared our parents will scold us. We don’t want to be scolded, we want to be motivated, and we want to hear “no problem if you failed this time, work harder and you will pass the next exam”.

Many people even cry when they are in the wrong profession. It was not their choice, they did it out of pressure from the family. They are living a life they didn’t want, they are doing a job they don’t like but they have to. How many doctors, engineers and managers are out there who would have been happier being a painter, musician or a designer? Or how happy a dermatologist might have been being a cardiologist, but the decision to become a dermatologist had to be taken because of better opportunities in the field and better chances of earning.

When a person leaves us, or dies, it is not according to our will. It makes us cry. We didn’t want that person to leave us but we can’t make things happen according to our will. Maybe we can convince a person to come back into our life by solving problems but we cannot bring someone back from the grave. This makes us cry even more. Someone we loved so much is no more, we can’t see them, we can’t touch them, we can’t talk to them; this helpless thought keeps the tears flowing.

When a girl gets married and has to leave her home, she cries. She doesn’t want to go, she wants to stay with her parents, her siblings, in her room, with her favorite food and movies. She wants that liberty she has at her parent’s house. Her family cries because they don’t her want to leave as well, but they are forced by the norms of society.

When a person is angry and not talking to us, we often cry. We don’t want that person’s anger, we didn’t mean to hurt them. We do or say things that are the real us, which hurts the other person and then they ignore us and we cry. Considering the person’s importance in our life we decide not to say or do those things again. In other words we decide not to be ourselves.

When we cry we convince ourselves to accept the situation, no matter how against it is to us. People who don’t cry are better at accepting and submitting towards the needs of society and family. They accept that they cannot take the situation into control and they have to do whatever they are forced to. They have been taught not to fight for themselves and to accept the decisions imposed on to them but at times, the very difficult times, even they cry. They cry because on the inside, they wish they had the power to control the situations in their lives and be happy the way they wish to be.

Where does the happiness lie?

We all feel hopeless at some time of the day, week or the month. We find it hard to smile, to love ourselves, to love others, to stay happy and find a reason to love life. No matter what, we just can’t find the courage to smile. It feels like there is a burden, someone pressing hard against the chest and stopping us from being happy or smiling.

In this difficult situation, we never understand that it’s actually the little things that help us get out of that phase. A few encouraging words by someone, maybe a good morning message, a cup of tea with a friend, seeing the sunset by the sea, reading a favorite book, cuddling with your favorite person while watching a movie, a scoop of ice cream, a bucket of French Fries, a playful time with your pet, coloring, painting, listening to your favorite old song during a long drive, an unexpected chocolate received, an unexpected hug by a loved one, a kiss by an adorable kid. We seem to expect something big and life changing to get us out of an upset phase and start smiling again.

We forget being thankful; to our creator as well as towards the people in our lives. We lack gratitude in our lives that makes us blind from the little pleasures that surround us. These minor things are not just needed to be delighted but these are the exact moments where true happiness lies.

When schools turn into businesses

Dear parents,

Are you sure your child is getting the right education at school? Are you sure the marks he is scoring is what he deserves? Are you sure he worked hard enough to achieve the grades his report card shows?

How many of you actually demand to see the papers of every subject? Why do you trust your child blindly? Or the institution he goes to? Are you sure the teacher is knowledgeable enough to teach your child?

I have been closely associated to a school (one that is well known and having many campuses in Karachi) and its upsetting how the future of children is being ruined. High fees is demanded, low infrastructure is provided and when the parents complain, the compensation is dispersion of marks to pass a child. Not just 2/3 marks but as much as 12-15 marks in various subjects. A student was even passed when her paper went missing, one even when she didn’t appear in any of the exams. The point I am trying to highlight is not marks but how the coming generation will learn not to work hard and earn what they truly deserve. All their mistakes will be covered up without encouraging them to work hard or grow as a better person.

The concept of punishment has vanished. I remember during school days I used to be so fearful of my teachers and punishments that I would make sure my uniform, homework and grades are in the right order. Nowadays, if a child pokes or hits a teacher, or submits incomplete homework, or fails the exam; he has no fear of punishment, neither from the school nor from his parents. I just wonder how many criminals we are bringing up as these fearless kids.

Schools these days focus on events which involve singing competitions, dance competitions and play areas and fun fair. Where are those grand quiz competitions, art competitions, science competitions where children actually utilize their abilities to the most and learn for better? They grow while preparing for the competition, because they want to be the best but with their own hard work. The spirit of competition is lost and children just want to be number one even if they are not willing to work hard enough.

We talk about racism, cast, culture but we don’t realize what our children learn at school. Teachers are forced to dress up well, have perfect makeup, even demanded to quit hijab. Aren’t we teaching kids that only a person who is dressed well and looking at his best is a good person and if someone is inclined towards religion he is not considered to be good rather a threat and disgrace? A teacher wearing hijab is considered to be shallow and not eligible enough to teach at this particular school I am talking about. Well if they consider following the religion to be a degrading behavior then imagine what the students will actually be learning at that school.

Discussing further, it’s not just the appearance that is used to decide whether a teacher is good for the school but also his ability to satisfy the seniors of the school management. A teacher should be smart enough to involve in workplace politics and prove that he is right while others are wrong. He should be close friends with the seniors so he doesn’t have to do much work and always be saved by the senior’s favor even when he is wrong. If someone is not willing to involve in backbiting and wrongdoing, is honestly fulfilling his responsibilities, he will be targeted with all sorts of accusations and sacked from his job. On the other hand, teachers who are not even clear with the basic concepts and often dress up like beggars will be teaching for years in the same institution, just because they have strong bonds with the senior management.

It’s true that every child informs parents about his teacher, the good ones and even the bad ones. In my opinion the parents should have an option to select whether a teacher should stay in school or not based on the child’s results and what positive or negative reviews he has shared about a particular teacher. Maybe a teacher is strict but if the child is performing well in the subject the parents might want to continue with the teacher but if a teacher is very soft spoken but the child’s results are not satisfying then the teacher is not good enough because ultimately parents want their children to have the best of education and not spending money for free grades.

What defines you?

Who do you see in the mirror every morning? Is it that fat ugly girl who gets humiliated by people for her curves? Is it that dark complexioned girl who is made to feel inferior in family gatherings and workplace? Is it the girl who has become an introvert because of the acne scars? Who is she? Who are you?

Is it this skin color that defines you? Is it the plus size that is your identity? Why have you given the chance to anyone that they can judge you based on appearance? Why do you care so much about how the world looks at you? Why does anyone in this world have the power to make you feel inferior?

Wake up tomorrow morning and look into the mirror again. Find that strong girl who brings a smile to people’s faces when she meets them. Look at that girl who studies hard day and night to score well and build a bright future for herself and make her parents proud. Look at that girl who is a doctor and puts others health and happiness running around wards through the day when she herself is deprived of food and water. The girl who designs dresses so others can look pretty while she herself is comfortable in her jeans and tees. The girl who is an artist and fill up lives with colors but loves her old black sneakers.

Whether you are an engineer, doctor, pilot, designer, architect, writer, chef, photographer, student, artist or just a home maker; focus on the things you do for people that makes them smile. Look at how that girl in the mirror does wonders to fix around messed up lives of people. How one feels happier because of something that you have done by just being there in your right place at the right time. That is what defines you.

The happiness that you provide to people, that is exactly what you deserve. So never let anyone point out your appearance as a major flaw in you. Next time when someone calls you fat or ugly just reply ‘at least I don’t make people feel bad, like you were just trying to do’. Accept yourself however you are, because that’s how you were created to be; and the Almighty makes no mistakes.

Prioritize your smile and your happiness over other’s opinions. Love yourself and accept yourself. Next time when you look into the mirror, look at the girl you are, not the one the world wants you to be.

Color away the worries!

When was the last time you colored something?

Or painted?

Or sketched?

Don’t remember? Well then probably it’s been a very long time and you need to bring out the inner child and indulge in some art activity. I am not saying this for the sake of fun but for your betterment. If you are feeling upset, depressed, anxious, confused, angry, or anything that makes it difficult for you to think properly; just sit down and color for a while.

I built up this habit about two years back. I searched the internet for ‘adult coloring patterns’ and found drawing sheets that have detailed intricate patterns to fill in. I color them with different mediums depending on my mood. Sometimes I use color pencils or poster colors, chalk pastels, oil pastels, water colors, markers or sometimes simply shading with a regular pencil. It really helps me to relax. It decreases my anxiety and confusions and helps me to think clearly.

What happens is when I am involved in filling colors to these detailed patterns, I forget what was actually disturbing me. When I keep thinking about the problem I am never able to find a solution but when I am involved in art, and forget it for a while, then rethink about it I realize that the solution was so easy but because I was so tensed I was not being able to figure it out.

Unfortunately in our country art has always been considered a failure. But internationally, art is a great healer. Art therapy institutes are formed and people are treated for their mental health problems. Psychologists see a vast difference in people form the first session and even the patients say that it’s great how they can express themselves through colors and start recovering from their depression.

So next time you feel something is not going right, just disconnect from the world for a while and connect yourself with art. Also, if you have kids, build up this habit in them from now so they don’t grow up to be individuals finding it difficult to express themselves when they aren’t able to find words to speak.

Something for skincare!

So I use these two products thrice a week for my face. I have an acne prone skin and the products that best suit me are the ones that contain tea tree oil. After a lot of research over the internet and going through many articles and reviews I had started using these products mainly from The Body Shop or Boots.

What I do is I use The Body Shop foaming cleanser well over my face for good 8-10 minutes, massaging well using a facial electric cleanser brush. Then clean with water and wipe dry with a tissue paper. Then apply the Facial mask from Boots ‘Tea Tree and Witch Hazel with active charcoal’. Leave it on for 15-20 minutes as it mentions in the direction. Wash your face and wipe dry with a tissue paper.

Walla! You have a refreshing, glowing skin. Do not moisturize for at least half an hour, as your skin needs to breathe.

Career and Character

It’s upsetting how people in our society judge a person’s character by their profession. If the person is a doctor, engineer, CA, teacher etc. he/she is definitely a very decent and respectable person and if the person belongs to the field of media or is an artist or does a job that requires late night work then surely he/she is indecent, disrespectful and a person of low character. Why the classification? Why don’t people understand that a person’s career choice is what he/she is interested in and what indecent acts a person does is his/her own cheap desires.

It’s upsetting how people judge me on my character just because I belong to a creative field. It upsets me when people think that just because I belong to the field of media I must be a whore, a smoker or a drug addict. My choice of career is what I loved to do. I loved colors, I loved creative writing, I loved photography and that was the reason I opted for media studies not because I wanted to provide sexual pleasure to men or was craving for drugs. If that was the case I wouldn’t need to choose media, it would have been possible in any career field.

I am a girl who has worked on late night projects but never have anyone been able to raise a finger at me because my desire was only to work. My teachers (all men) used to motivate, support and encourage me the most among all other students, not because I was providing them any sexual pleasure but because they saw the dedication towards studies in me.

If a person smokes, or uses drugs and has interest in having sex with random people its his/her personal choice or rather say the company that he/she belongs to has induced an interest in him towards these things. I never prefer such friends because I find it disgusting how people don’t value the life given to them and how the parents don’t bother about their children destroying their lives. Personal lifestyle has nothing to do with a career field; if it did there would be no hijabis in the field of media and there would be no doctors who smoke.

Teaching is one of the noblest professions in the world but I know teachers who ask girls to date them or spend a night with them to gain marks. There are doctors out there who enjoy touching women for the sake of pleasure rather than treatment. Do these people deserve to be respected?

It is a request to people to judge someone on what you see the person to be rather than assuming what a person might be.

What is a man’s favorite game?

There are millions of games in this world but you know which game Pakistani men prefer the most? A girl’s life. Yes, I say this because in spite of knowing the narrow minded abusive culture of our society men use girls for their entertainment. I don’t mean play around with them as girlfriends but rather marry them for fun.

Someone I know recently got divorced just after six months of marriage and you might want to know the reason, well it is because she is pregnant. Her husband doesn’t wish to have a child and handle the responsibility of a wife and a child. I just wish to ask him that if he was not even interested in the responsibility of a wife then why he got married in the first place?

Our society is the one that would kill its people if someone in the west abuses the Prophet (P.B.U.H.) but not be the one to follow his footsteps and have the courage to marry a divorced woman or a widow. Even though he knows this flaw of our society so well he ruined the girl’s life. Again I question why? If all he wanted was sex then he should have visited a brothel. It would have been a more interesting experience for him as he would receive a different woman and different sex styles every night. Oh and yes, in this regard our society is developing well, there are many brothels and whores coming out to entertain such desperate men.